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NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator
colleenaf
08 November 2008 @ 06:16 pm
Skat Kat Rant (aka Phew! No More Government-Enforced Lactating for Me, but I'm Still Sad)  
Do you ever get the feeling like you are living out some future 7th grader's homework assignment? 2038 Question #23 That's Us! Kids are going to fall asleep listening to stories of this year and are totally not even gonna get partial credit for writing 2007 on the pop quiz! (sorry future 7th graders, rules be rules, RED PEN ATTACK) But 2008, hellz yeah 2008: The Year America Took a Step Forward To Start to Suck Less, And Then Immediately Took Another Step Back

I stay here, in this lovely country, because I am a cartoon cat that likes organized dancing with Paula Abdul. I am proud to be Skat Kat, even if my rap-single is impossible to find now and my cartoon pants horribly dated. This country could be awesome. Perhaps one day WILL be awesome. Bottom line though, we are SO not awesome yet.

I started about four posts this week, only to never actually hit "post" on any of them. It would be so damn wrong to pretend like this week wasn't one of the most important of my life. I was super nervous election night, paced my apartment for a half hour before stats started coming back and instead opted to watch what turned out to be the CRAZIEST bollywood flick I've ever seen instead of CNN. One of the best decisions ever! Dancing, dancing, dancing, FIGHTS, dancing, gratitous high-speed fan slow motion man-candy struts, dancing, dancing, OVER! Turned off the movie just in time for us to win O-Hi-Oooooo. Sorry CNN, but DHOOM had much more satisfying reporting this election, or at least perfect timing. Movie ended. We won.

Not only was the movie a great distraction from fear, but it had some of the most amazing unsexy dance moves I've ever seen. The flailing done by the women in the beginning of the opening is rather similar to my secret apartment dancing. I do love it so! ASYMMETRICAL WINDMILL HANDS! ASYMMETRICAL WINDMILL HANDS! HIGH KICK! HUUUUH!

So they announce Obama and I start to cry. I've only felt truly patriotic twice in my life. The first time was when I won $20 for a drawning of Abe Lincoln in 2nd Grade..though perhaps that feeling was more "holy crap I can buy so many Sugar Daddy's for $20!" than it was truly patriotic.

Err...to be clear Sugar Daddy is a type of carmel candy. Um..yeah.

The second time was listening to Obama's speak, both on election night and once a while back. I had seen Obama speak in 2003 at a Social Studies teacher conference. I had no idea who he was but he was so damn moving. Nothing on tv will ever give his true speaking charm justice. When he won this week I felt proud, I felt like the world was turning into something amazing...and then I woke up.

I know we made a HUGE step and not only do I have hope for future and the intelligence of this country but ALSO now I don't have to fear quite so much about having to breast-feed old people GRAPES OF WRATH style (was totally dreading that!), but while that huge step was being made another went the other way.

The Prop 8 thing KILLED ME. I balled like a baby over it. It's fucked up. So royally fucked up.

Talk talk talk about equality and progress, but we just approved someone's equality only to say "hey just kidding!" It would be like if after the Civil War the powers that be were like "Well, we tried this 'no-slavery' thing, but MAN it's kinda expensive and not working out. Sorry guys! Back to the old days we go! No hard feelings, right? Feel free to sing as much as you'd like!"

My sis is engaged to an awesome girl. At least a third of my friends are gay. But screw that approach! Forget me having ANY personal connection to anyone gay at all...equality should be friggin equal!

The awesome Josh has started a letter writing (and fancy stationary buying it seems) pen-pal campaign with Ron Prentice, CEO of California Family Council and Chair of ProtectMarriage.com. Check out Josh's blog and write a letter of your own. Fancy stationary is optional, but realizing that people are people and love is love is MANDATORY.

I know Obama is going to be AWESOME in office, but can I start campaigning for the next president yet? I vote JESS FINK! This can totally be her first poster.

Oh yeah and 7th graders of 2038, first off thanks for being awesome and believing in equality and stuff. Also SWEET teleporter shoes!


I imagine they look a lot like these...only with little globes you have to pump up in order to break the laws of physics.
 
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( 16 comments — Post a new comment )
mrs _9[info]clevortrevor on November 9th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)
prop 8 won't last - it's just a speedbump (but it does really suck for people who had plans to get married).

And no way was Obama going to lose. My only concern is that the satirical news industry won't have anything to make fun of. I mean, really, is there anything about Obama that's funny? Even when he makes mistakes, he cleans them up so well, he takes all the fun out.
NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC)
Truth be told I was kinda CONVINCED that we were going to lose. I was sure the election would bring all the crazies out of the woodwork. Like people who live in treehouses and hate anyone whose name starts with the letter O. OH YOU KNOW THE TYPE.

This is actually only the second election I didn't vote third party. I've always been a firm believer that you should vote for the most awesome person, whether it be a democrat or that little old lady who somehow got up enough support to get her cute little old lady name on the ballot. That little old lady who believes in equality, peace, and cookies. Three of my favorite things.

I give up third party voting now, knowing my optimistic vote was being thrown away, but luckily this year I STILL got to vote for the person who i thought was most awesome. Obama is my new little old lady. I bet he even totally likes cookies.

Yay for us!

You're right about prop 8, but segregation ended in the sixties and it took us until today to have a black president? In-sane. We may be a progressive nation, but we are so. damn. slow. to get off our asses.
mrs _9[info]clevortrevor on November 9th, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
I just felt like there were so many disenfranchised democratic-leaning voters (young, or black, or young and black) that they would outnumber Palin's crazies.

We live in a very blue county of a very red state though, so I think I have a skewed sense of demographics.
Joshua[info]oatmeal_texas on November 9th, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
What is that Bollywood movie? The lead guy is so hot.

Thanks for posting this. I felt so horrible on Wed because I felt like I had been thrown under a bus and nobody seemed to care. All of my friends were celebrating and then would ask me why I was sad. It hurt me that most straight people, though not homophobic, didn't seem to even consider that prop 8 might be a big painful deal to me. I'm glad to know some straight people noticed.

There's going to be a big protest here in New York on November 15th if you want to come with me.

http://www.jointheimpact.com/?page_id=2
NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 09:14 pm (UTC)
It's called DHOOM 2, there's also a DHOOM and a DHOOM 3, but neither have made it to the states yet. The DVD I got was REALLY worn. I think I'm not the only one to find that thing and LOVE it. The lead guy (actually he's the lead BAD guy) is ridiculously hott and I swear they have more close up gratuitous sexy shots of him as they do of the main hott girl. One of the things I love about Bollywood flicks. Usually they favor super unattractive male leads, so I was really surprised to find myself drooling over the screen!

I actually was more upset than a lot of my gay friends who keep saying "it's only a matter of time" but I am both impatient and completely getting on the offensive here. It's too fucked up to just sit back and wait for it to happen.

I need to do a program at the Brooklyn Museum that day, but I might be able to get a coworker to go for me instead. I really want to be a part of that protest. I'll let you know. Thanks so much for sending along that link!
beanmonster007[info]beanmonster007 on November 9th, 2008 01:48 am (UTC)
yeah, prop 8 kinda ruined the excitment of the presidential race for me, but i'm trying to be positive about it. I also think that it's just temporary. We are moving in the right direction, and it'll just take a little more time. I hope I see it reversed in my lifetime, and I think I will.

I'm glad to hear that you care too (I mean, I knew you would, but I guess I'm glad to hear how much you care). It's important that people realize that no one is equal unless everyone is equal, rather than just thinking "oh well i'm not gay, so what do I care?"
NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
Yeah I felt totally crazy the day after the election. Everyone was cheering in my office but I was super sad. It's not so much that people are against gay marriage that upsets me, since I do understand how many insane bigoted people there are in this country and will continue to be, but that a right could be TAKEN AWAY. Like nothing is ever real. When it passes again and gay marriage is legal everywhere...will it be permanent or can they RIP it away again with a Just Kidding?

Also I am FURIOUS the way they worded it. Making you have to vote No if you are PRO. It was an evil trick. Also as much as I loved Obama's campaign I really REALLY wish his main slogan didn't have a YES in it. I have a feeling a lot of the people who voted YES for Pro 8 aren't even against gay marriage, but just didn't know what they were doing. I mean I'M guilty of not always knowing what all those yes/no propositions are when I get into the voting booth.

Your loophole is pretty awesome though. Too many HUMPERDINKS in this country.
subweird[info]subweird on November 9th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
I won a colouring contest in 2nd grade. I invented a way of coloring by using one crayon, then covering it with another... then scraping off spots to make polka dots.


I was LIGHT YEARS ahead of the kids.

LIGHT YEARS.
subweird[info]subweird on November 9th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
(because I was 15)
NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS YOUUUU! I heard about this amazing crayon prodigy but I never knew i KNEW the person. Next time I see you I will insist on an autograph. In crayon.


r.[info]virtuallyverbal on November 9th, 2008 02:05 pm (UTC)
great post colleen!! that i don't know how you handled the emotional rollercoaster of watching that movie and then finding out immediately afterwards that Barack had a lock on the election.

it was the first time i felt that choked up 'proud to be an american' feeling too. !!!
NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 09:37 pm (UTC)
Yeah I've been yelled at for being an "unpatriotic bitch" twice, both times for refusing to take free mini-american flags people were handing out on the street, to which I replied kindly "Oh...no thank you" and then got a new tush-hole of yelling thrown back at me. I guess all countries have jerks. It's kinda human nature, but for a while I was convinced our awesome to jerk ratio was leaning much towards the latter category, but this election restored faith that there are so so many awesome people out there. They just aren't always the ones to speak up.
Darryl Ayo Brathwaite[info]nervousystem on November 9th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
Jess Fink for President, Colleen for Chief of Staff!

I had initially read that Prop 8 failed, so all was good. Then I got the word that, nope, sorry, America is still bigoted after all.

Well if Utah people can donate millions to hurt California people, then the least a few New Yorkers can do is donate some time, money and energy to thwarting them BOTH.


NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
OOOOH does Chief of Staff mean I would get an ACTUAL staff to walk around with, because if so I AM IN.


I think Utah should have spent that money building a giant fence around the state so they wouldn't have to worry about corruptions from outside in the future. Do you think I can send $10 to them and tell them they have to use the money for their fence?

I shouldn't be so mean to utah, for every 9 crazy mormons there's one amazing awesome equality loving one. I know because I befriended those ones growing up.

Where they hell does utah get that money anyway? If I have more than $40 to give to something it's a miracle?!?!


finkenstein[info]finkenstein on November 9th, 2008 07:09 pm (UTC)
When I am President I promise to appoint you Chairman of Total Awesome. Also, I will make it legal to apartment dance in public. And I will install 25 cent soda machines in the lunch room. No more pop quizzes!

That stationary truly is gorgeous. I am already writing letters in my head. I wish we could write letters to all the crazy assholes in the nation! It's like they are just living in an old west wagon circle, only the wagon circle is made up of SUVs and pick up trucks and it's not the native Americans who are attacking them but a bunch of layed-back friendly gay people who just want to share their home made rainbow cookies with them, and the cargo those people are protecting is just...beer?
And...intolerance?
NAME: colleen AF venable, OCCUPATION: occupator[info]colleenaf on November 9th, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
Chairman of T&A?!?! It's a dream come true! I'll work on finding those leather pants with two holes on the butt checks for my inauguration.

Maybe they are afraid of diabetes from all the rainbow cookies? I mean there really can't be any other reason to be such jerks.

Josh's letter writing campaign is making me with I had legible handwriting. Knowing my handwriting I'd write a sweet post-summer-camp style letter and it would be misinterpreted as a death threat. "No no I wrote 'I wish we could toast marshmallows together' not 'I wish you would roast in the firy pits of hell you are so convinced are reserved for other people but guess what jerk you win! Also I know where you live. TT4N!"